First Date After a Breakup

Soooo you guys…guess what? I went on my first date since Jonathan/Johnny or whatever the hell he’s going by these days and it was soooo much fun!

It was a pretty last min deal. He called me around 8 and asked me what I was doing and asked if I wanted to go out. Sureeee…why not. I needed a break from all this sadness anyway. So I got up, threw on some makeup, and put on a dress that hugged in all the right places but first…I had to put on a body shaper! Listen I’m sexy and all but I’ve been neglecting the gym and I just needed to smooth out and lift up some areas. Anyway I put on a low cut blue dress (thank God for perky boobs) that went down to my knees. I paired it with some nude wedges.

We meet at a popular local spot that housed clubs, bars, and restaurants that played live music. We opted for a bar away from the music so that we could talk. See let me take you back. This guy and I have met before about 8 months ago. Well we matched on Tinder and the day that we were suppose to go out, he stood me up. I was looking just as cute as I was this time around. I was pissed! When I got a hold to him a week later I laid into that ass! This time around when we matched on Tinder neither one of us remember who the other was. Lucky him! It took me about 3 days to figure that shit out. So when he asked me to go out again I said yes mainly because I needed him to witness what he left hanging all those months ago. Yes, I’m that damn petty.

Fortunately for him he bought up the fact that he stood me up. However, he claimed his memory was a little blurry of the details. Oh really?! Why don’t I refresh your memory! Since I’m not looking for anything serious anyway I accepted his apology and we moved on with our date. It was awesome. It was a good first date after a breakup. We laughed a lot. It also could have had something to do with the double shot of tequila we had and the 2 cocktails I had prior to that. We had fun, we talked, we laugh and most importantly I didn’t have that “this isn’t Jonathan” feeling.  I swear that’s the worst. Trying to move on but constantly thinking about how your date isn’t the person you are moving on from.

We ended the night at a Colombian fast food restaurant. Not the greatest place in the world but he’s Colombian so I got a piece of his world. The experience was nice. I don’t think I’ve ever had Colombian food before. We also ended the night with a kiss. I haven’t kissed a new person in 8 months. I felt like I was learning how to kiss all over again. Kinda embarrassing actually. Like this dude is going to think I have never kissed a man in my life. The kiss felt nice too. I mean I haven’t had sex in like 2.5 months so I’m horny. Being touched by a man feels nice in general and he fine! YESSSS! Lol. Shit I’m saying all this to say…have fun! I’m still grieving over the lost of my relationship with ole boy and thats okay. It was a traumatic fucking experience. I literally cringe with the thought of being back in a serious relationship but I can’t stop having fun and this date was fun. I’m single again, back on the prowl thought he was perfect I don’t know how (Trina).

Until next time,

Tate.

Serial Dating Woes

So this is my second attempted at writing this blog because somehow the first one got deleted. ANNOYING!!! Anyway its been awhile since I posted but over those last 2 months so much has happen. Some good and some bad. Some good I’ll share with you today!

For the past 3.5 years I’ve been single. I’ve pretty much have become a serial online dater.  I tried Match, POF, Tinder, Soul Swipe, OkCupid, Bumble, and Coffee Meets Bagel. You name it and I probably have a profile on it! Online dating SUCKS. Free meals and drinks are great though. After 3.5 years of serial dating I’m finally off the market. I met this guy on POF and we hit it off. But that’s not really what this blog is about. I’ll save that for another blog. If it lasts he’ll get his own special blog about how much I adore him and shit. This blog is about the journey of online dating and dating in general and how much it really does suck.

Online dating gave me access to a wide range of weirdos I mean people that I wouldn’t normally encounter on a regular basis (because they’re fucking weird and I tend to avoid weirdos). Dating after college is so different while dating in college. Online dating wasn’t really that cool when I was in college. I also had a bf for 2 years while in college so there really wasn’t a reason for me to. After graduating and moving to a new city and breaking up with my ex, online dating seem like the way to go. BOY OH Boy! I wish I started blogging sooner about the crazies I encountered via the World Wide Web of Lies so that we could have gone on this journey together.

Dating is hard. Every time you meet someone new you go on a date, you have a great time, there’s chemistry and then you find out they’re either crazy or lying about what they looking for in regards to a relationship (just sex). After the 54,984,288 first dates and 32,596, 987 second dates, 3475, third dates and literally 1 fourth, and 1 fifth-tenth date (current relationship), trying to get to know these individuals are a pain in the ass! Its the same damn speech. How are you, what do you do, do you have any kids, and after assuming that someone wasn’t ya know in a relationship I had to start asking questions like “are you married, do you have a girl friend, a fiance, a girlfriend, what about a friend with benefits, and even is there a stranger that you just fuck from time to time?” My patience began to run thin. Damn. Like I literally can’t make some of this shit up.

There was the guy that did multilevel marketing that “you should be here” crap where you get paid to vacation. Boy quit his job and everything to do this. He tried on several occasions to get me to join as well. The thought never crossed my mind. Who the hell can survive off of vacationing. I’m 23 years old with my own house! Whose going to pay my mortgage! Anywho that ended when he texted me and said that he was in a relationship but we could still be friends. FUCKKKKK THAT! Aint no friendship bih. Not to mention he left his “you should be here” account up on my computer…let me tell you how much money he wasn’t making. Not enough to pay my light bill!

Let me move on to Mr. Levert (We’ll just call him this for kicks and giggles). Mr. Levert was the reason why I had to start asking about all significant and insignificant others. I actually didn’t met him online…I met him out one night but whatever, it goes along with how dating sucks. Anyway he approached me and 2 days later we went out. We had such a good time. There was chemistry, we were attracted to each other…blah blah blah. Long story short after doing some PI work I found out that he was engaged to be married. WTF! This SOB was living a double damn life. Oh don’t worry. I got something for that ass. I’ll be the woman he’ll never forget. 🙂

Most recently right before I met my boyfriend I met this guy online and strangely enough I can’t remember his name. We’ll call him SkinnyJeans. He liked to wear them and they were always extra skinny. Is that a thing? Extra skinny jeans? It literally looked like he had to shimmy in and out of them and lay on the bed with his stomach tucked in to button them. WHERE DID HE HIDE HIS PENIS?! Anywho…I should’ve known better by going out with this fool. SOOOO many red flags in the beginning. One. I don’t date men with kids. I’m still on the fence about having my own so I damn sure don’t want to play stepmama to someone else’s child and he had a daughter. Initially he didn’t even mention a daughter but after some PI work I found out he had a daughter and was on child support. Sign 2, I got a text from his number from a crazy female pretending to be him talking about how he had a girlfriend and he couldn’t talk to me anymore blah blah blah.. Some real basic bitch shit. Not that should’ve been enough to keep me away for good but noooo I gave his ass a chance anyway after explaining that his crazy ex had sent the message and they were over. Okay lets fast forward a few weeks. I’m driving home from being out of town and I get a series of text messages and some phone calls from his number. One phone call was of a couple having “sex” and literally all I heard was moaning, groaning, a headboard shaking, and a woman screaming out Mr. SkinnyPants’ name. I literally had just hung up the phone with him. So that had to be the quickest round of foreplay ever! SOOOO he had a real crazy bitch on his hands. Homegirl even asked where I stayed because she was pretending to be him. Let a bitch roll up to my house. Fuck all that women empowerment shit that I wrote about in my Afro blog. I would’ve went from 0-100 real quick! Needless to say I called him, cursed him out and told him to lose my name, number, and what I even looked like. I don’t have time to be fighting some random chick over a dude I don’t even like because she mad that he stole her skinny jeans to come out on a date with me!

See I told yall I couldn’t make this stuff up. I just can’t.

A month later I met my current boyfriend and he really took things to a new level. He was NORMAL. WTF. Who sent you?! You mean you’re not crazy? Now don’t get me wrong he has his quirks but I can live with them. We did the usual first date and a day later we had a second date, then a third, a fourth, and I stopped counting after ten. That never has happened before. EVER! I’ve never had a problem meeting guys who were successful in their careers or didn’t have kids my only problem was finding someone not fucking weird. He comes along being all normal and shit and I’m suspicious! Dating had totally screwed me up! Not to mention he didn’t have any social media he was active on or had at all. How did he expect me to play PI without any social media accounts?! I NEEDED TO INVESTIGATE. You mean I got to TRUST you?! Who got time for that?! Like I gotta trust you and shit and wait until the lies that you say reveal themselves after I’m in knee deep? Yeah nobody ain’t got time for that! LOL.

I realize I had my own insecurities to deal with. I had to learn how to trust again and be okay with not being a private investigator. It’s been hard. I’m not even going to lie about that. However that’s not his problem. His job isn’t to assure me that he’s being faithful and not lying because of my own insecurities due to past experiences. Not his problem and I’m not making them his. As time has passed its gotten a lot easier. Now I’ve hadn’t been going into full panic/anxiety attacks or nothing but it’s definitely has been a learning experience.  One that I’m glad I get to experience and I get to experience them with him.